El Deafo by Cece Bell

 Bell, C., & Lasky, D. (2014). El Deafo. New York, NY: Amulet Books.

This is the first graphic novel that I read and I must say, I enjoyed it.

I'm an English teacher and on the first week of school, which was last week, I had my seniors write an essay on education and how an experience they've has had made them realize the importance of education. As they wrote, a student asked for help. So I came over to her desk and read the two paragraphs that she had written. It turns out that she started her essay expressing how when she started school she was aware that she was different than the rest of her classmates. She felt self conscious and hated being different. She tried to hide this and that she dreaded anyone noticing. Intrigued, huh? Yeah, me too!

As it turned out, she had a hearing disability and has, up to this point, had to wear hearing aids. Although there were no chords coming from her ears to a box hanging around her chest, she felt the need to hide her ears behind her long hair. She talked about how much she hated them and even wished they would get lost, or stolen, or that they would be crushed under a heavy object so that she would not have to wear them again. Her hatred for her hearing aids went on for years until one day she realized how silly she had been for hating something that helped her so much. This story warmed my heart and sympathized for her immediately. And then yesterday, I pick up El Deafo and immediately think of Justice and her story. Cece and Justice were alike in so many ways.

A few years back, in 2011, I had a student, this time a boy. And he also wore a device just like Cece did, and I too, had to wear a microphone during class so that he could hear me. Unfortunately, this experience was a rather negative one for me, not because I minded, on the contrary, I was glad to help him. In this case, after reading this novel, I feel as though this young boy never overcame the stage where he saw this apparatus as an enemy. He liked working independently and would even turn off the device so that he wouldn't hear me, or he would tell me that it broke down, and then I would see another teacher wearing the microphone. I wished then, and I wish now, that I could have done more to help him, but this boy never allowed me the opportunity to reach out to him.

Cece's story is heartbreaking. As a parent, one of my greatest fears is for something to   happen to my children. From a healthy girl, in the blink of an eye, it all changed. Fortunately, the only consequence of her disease was hearing loss. It could have been worse. Many times we take things for granted, our health, our healthy children, the abilities we have that help us carry on through life with no setbacks.

In the case of Cece, it is endearing to see how with the help of her phonic ear she felt like a super hero, just because with it she had the ability to hear. So what anyone who can hear takes for granted, she cherished dearly. Of course, being that she was young, and at that age you want to fit in, she hated that it made her difference from the rest, but without realizing it, she was grateful for the ability of hearing.

When tragedy struck, yes, tragedy, she was devastated at the fact that she no longer had her phonic ear. She was even more devastated to know that she was going to have to do without it for a few weeks. And this reminded me of my Nathan, my 9 year old son. He wears glasses with a pretty high prescription. Last May he lost a lens at school that we never found. Naturally, I had it replaced immediately but he went a good two weeks, almost three without his glasses. One morning he came up to me with a cheery voice and said, "Momma, I can almost see as well as I do with my glasses." My poor baby was already adjusting to seeing without his glasses. It broke my heart.

When Cece went four weeks and three days without her device, she learned to appreciate how great it was. She learned that it was something she needed in her life, and learned to accept it. So when she finally received it, she walks with pride in front of the class to give her teacher her microphone.

When we think about why she felt as self conscious as she did of wearing this device, we can wonder what her reason was. Naturally, humans can be inconsiderate and lack compassion. For instance, when Coach Potts breaks her microphone, the best he can do is utter a "whoopsie" or when her classmates ask, "Oh you're the deaf kid?"

We need to be more accepting. We need to learn to be more human. In the end, Cece was successful at overcoming her hatred for her situation, for the device that helped her, but it took her years to be able to do that. She had to hide behind a secret imaginative identity in order for her to be okay with her disability. And the question is why are we forced to do such things? Everyone should feel like a super hero, whether we are or not. As simple as that.

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Crenshaw by Katherine Applegate

 Applegate, K. (2015). Crenshaw. New York: Feiwel and Friends. 

As I navigated my Facebook about a year ago, I came across the image below and I immediately shared it because you it reminded me of my childhood. You see, my childhood was a happy one. I may not have had everything I wanted, but I sure had everything that I needed. I never knew my parents struggled to make ends meet.

My dad was a teacher in Mexico and so because he had a good career one would have never thought they ever struggled. One of the stories they have shared with us was that when my two older brothers were little, my dad had to pawn his watch because they needed to buy milk for my two brothers. And the sad part is that he was never able to get it back. My senior year in high school, I distinctly remember that my mom, dad, and I were home alone on Thanksgiving Day and instead of a traditional meal we were going to have to settle for potatoes and tortillas. My dad owned a junk yard and it so happened that that afternoon a couple of teenagers stopped by the house asking my dad if the windshield on the car hooked to his tow truck outside our house was for sale. He got $40 for it, mind you he could have gotten at least $300 for it but he was desperate. By dinner time, he had already bought the necessary ingredients to make a better meal.

But you know what? Despite all this, they never troubled us with their worries. They never hinted frustration. They let us be kids.

So when Jackson's parents tried their hardest to keep their struggles from him and Robin, I totally understood. I have two children of my own, Nathan who is 9 and Logan is 4, and it would pain me greatly to bring my adult nonsense to them. I can't even begin to imagine the hurt and frustration his parents felt at knowing their children went to bed hungry and that they had to "trick" themselves into believing that they were not hungry. Heartbreaking, isn't it?

It is truly heartbreaking to see how worried Jackson was throughout. Although he was so mature for his age, he was still scared, actually terrified of the unknown. And who can blame him? Putting myself in the shoes of his parents, I feel as though I would have done exactly the same. I would have tried protecting my children from the cruelty of the situation. And even though Jackson resented them for doing so, he understood their reasons. In the end it turned out that even Robin was trying to protect her brother by tricking him into thinking the purple jelly beans were magic.

All this is heartwarming. His parents protected him and Robin from the crudeness of their reality. He protected Robin from the worries he was experiencing. And Robin in a way protected him as well, or at least attempted to protect him by bringing him some sort of wonder with the mystery of the purple jelly beans.

Now the question of Crenshaw's appearance is what intrigued me throughout. Quite frankly, I never had an imaginary friend. I have always found the possibility strange, maybe even a little crazy. But who am I to say anything if I never had one?  I found the idea that as Crenshaw declared so himself, he was there because Jackson needed him, so sweet. In Jackson's case, because he relied so heavily on facts, and because he hated lying, he kept his troubles to himself and was unable to share his fears with anybody. The first time around, the first time his parents lost their house, Robin was way too little for him to talk to. And that's precisely the time in which Crenshaw appeared for the first time. The second time around, he did precisely what his parents did to him, he kept the facts from Robin so that she would not worry. The only other person who he could have trusted, he refused to speak to about the problem because naturally he was ashamed of telling her. We find in the end that the truth set him free. He was afraid of revealing the agony of his life's troubles to Marisol, which of course is understandable. So because again, he needed someone, Crenshaw made a second appearance.

Crenshaw is the tale about a family who struggled but even within their hardships, they never lose sight of what a family is and that despite these hardships, one must never lose hope that things will sort themselves out, even if it takes time, things will surely get better.

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Crossover by Kwame Alexander

 Alexander, K. (2014). The crossover. Boston: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt.

So without looking at he book jacket, I skipped through the book and thought, "Great! Poetry! Well, let me tell confess that I don't necessarily love it. I don't hate it, but I could definitely do without it. Yes, I'm an English teacher, yes, I teach poetry, but rest assured because when I teach those sonnets to my students, I own them! And yes, I am able to make my students believe that I absolutely LOVE it with a passion. So when I read the reviews on the back of the book, I was intrigued.

So here it is.

Heartbreaking. Simply HEARTBREAKING!

My favorite parts of the book were the ten basketball rules that can be applied to everyday life and the vocabulary lessons. Ohhhh, I LOVED those vocabulary lessons. And as soon as my children are old enough for the content, not that it's inappropriate but they're 4 and 9, I will have them read it. Or I might even read it to them.

Beware. Spoiler Alerts.

Rule #1 In this game of life your family is the court and the ball is your heart...always leave your heart on the court. 

For some, finding our passion, finding the one thing that drives us to success doesn't take much effort. Sometimes we are born with a talent and we really don't have to do much to excel. Others sometimes have to fight for what they love, to get better at it, to get recognized as great in its practice. One thing I have found out about myself is that I love writing and although I recognize I'm not the best writer in the world, it comes easy to me. I can write for days and never run out of things to say. However, that's not my only passion. I run. I do CrossFit. I run for days and I spend my evenings lifting "heavy" because I love it. Truth of the matter is that I run as slow as a turtle, and I am probably the weakest veteran at my box. But you know what? I live my heart on the pavement and the box floor. With calloused feet, missing toenails, worn out knee cartilage I still hit the pavement, and just because I'm not hitting it as gracefully and swiftly as the cross country high school kids that run our city, I'm doing it with the passion that drives my heart. With my calloused hands, bruised shins, bruised collar bone, sore muscles, I show up to my CrossFit box, ready to give it my best, even if my best doesn't remotely resemble anybody else's best.

The passion that Josh "Filthy McNasty" Bell and his brother Jordan is strengthened by their talent and the bond they share. Reading the way they work together, the way they share the same passion, the way they live for each other, like the good siblings they are is truly endearing.  As in it's sweet to see two teenage brothers be so open about their love for each other. As in it's so cute that two boys are not ashamed to show the world it's okay to be friends with your twin brother. As in I wish my boys will be open about their love for each other just like Josh and Jordan were.

Rule #2 Work smart. Live smarter. Play hard. Practice harder.

So when Josh tries his best and keeps working for what he loves the most he expects his brother to do the same. Not that his brother neglected their commitment to basketball, but he had other thoughts in his head. And of course every teenage story isn't a teenage story without the presence of the opposite sex, the pink sneaker wearing Miss Sweet Tea. Obviously that spelled trouble, as in Jordan has lost his head, as in Jordan has other priorities, as in Josh is a little bit jealous, as in the perfect sibling relationship was soon to end. Can he be crucified for being slightly sidetracked by a girl? Well this was completely unacceptable in Filthy McNasty's eyes.

At first I feared that Alexis would be a player or that Josh would be interested in her romantically as well, but I was relieved to realize that more than anything his yearning was for the love and affection of a girl, any girl, not necessarily Miss Sweet Tea.

What I questioned as I read was, Did Josh feel as though his brother wasn't working smart, living smarter, playing hard, practicing harder. And although we may have suspected the father's downfall, it wasn't quite clear at the time that Chuck's live smarter was ironic, since, well you know...

Rule #3 Never let anyone spoil your goals. Others' expectations of you are determined by their limitations of life.

The questions here is, Did Josh allow the presence of Reebok Wearing Girl to spoil HIS dreams? And most importantly, Did the expectations he had of his brother reflect his own limitations of life? Huh? My point is, his sole focus, his sole purpose in life, up to the arrival of Pink Reebok Wearing Girl to their life, was his love for the game. When his brother's priorities took another route, his own were warped too in the sense that instead of focusing on his own actions, what he had to continue doing to be successful, he kept focusing on how his brother's change warped him. Warped as in caused him to act wrongfully. As in making him an entire different person because of the mixed emotions of jealousy and sense of inadequacy running through him. As in him distorting the reality of life and his brother's new found interest in girl and turning it into a bad thing.

Rule #4 If you miss enough of live's free throws you will pay in the end. 

So as I read the section following Rule #4 I kept focusing on the literal meaning of this quote, which consisted on Josh missing free throws and to certain extent being tired of practicing them. However, after reviewing the content I made a connection, which I am aware, could be totally erroneous, but here it is. Chuck "Da Man" Bell had opportunity after opportunity to see a doctor because of all the tell-tell signs that hinted that he was in trouble and the tell-tell signs that showed that Josh's discomfort with the relationship between his brother and Alexis.

These both were serious matters that should not have been ignored. Serious as in an action needs to be taken. As in if it's ignored things will get out of control. As in if we wait too long, it will be too late.

Rule #5 When you stop playing your game you've already lost. 

Again, Josh was found guilty of breaking his father's rules the second he lost track of his personal purpose the second he started feeling jealous and/or annoyed with his brother's skills and his "showing off" to Alexis. Sibling rivalry was unknown to the Bell brothers. And quite frankly I do not believe they ever experienced it. The rivalry wasn't between Josh and Jordan, it was between Josh and Alexis. Secretly, that is. And although Josh played along and helped Jordan with his phone call and all, he was silently fighting a battle, he was fighting a battle against Pink Reebok Wearing Girl that no one knew about. This rivalry would be the beginning of an awful battle. Rivalry as in I hate anything and anyone associated with this person. As in I don't care that he is my own brother, I'm so mad at him for being with her. As in I can't control my emotions and I will snap. Bad..

Rule #6 A great team has a good scorer with a teammate who's on point and ready to assist.

Unless he has reached the tipping point of a silent rivalry he has fed with his dislike of his brother's sweetheart. The second that Josh let his frustration over Jordan's new object of his affection, he stopped being the teammate who was on point and ready to assist. In allowing his inner demons inside the court that day, he became the enemy. Enemy as in the person who would bring the team down with his enemy. As in I'm not working for my team, but against it. As in I hate my brother right now because he's neglecting me. As in I'm gonna make him pay for making me feel like this.

Rule #7 Rebounding is the art of anticipating, of always being prepared to grab it. but you can't drop the ball. 

Unless you drop the ball because of your inability to separate your emotions from your performance in the court. Or unless your inability to do what you were supposed to do keeps you from being there to help in the first place. Although he immediately regrets his actions, it is too late for him to take it back. In fact, once you cross a certain line there's not much you can do to take your actions back. How can he pick up a rebound? How can he anticipate if his mistake led to consequences, consequences that kept him from being there for his team. Whether he experienced guilt after his burst of anger or not, which he did, it was too late. The damage was done. Guilt or not. Guilt as in him regretting his action immediately after the deed. As in I wish I could go back in time. As in I really hope he can forgive me. As in I may have ruined my chance to play in the semifinals.

Rule #8 Sometimes you have to lean back a little and fade away to get the best shot. 

Josh's fading away took place as he was in the stands. As he sat silently next to his brother because his brother was not ready to forgive him. As he continued to fade away despite the fact that he was trying very hard to be allowed back in the team and to get his brother's forgiveness. All Josh had to do was wait patiently for him to be allowed back in the team and receive his brother's forgiveness. Hope is all he had. As in maybe soon I will be back on the team. As in maybe soon Jordan will forgive me. As in maybe soon I will have my brother back. As in maybe soon things will be like they were before.

Rule #9 When the game is on the line, don't fear. Grab the ball. Take it to the hoop. 

The most difficult moment in Jordan's and Josh's lives was the final game of the county championship, where despite the fact that they both knew that the end was near, Josh did exactly what his father asked him to do. Play. One can only imagine the mixed emotions going through these boys minds. The heartache with which Josh made that last play. He played exactly as his dad had shown them how, with passion. As in with everything he had. As in with the blood pumping through his veins. As in despite the fact that his heart was breaking.

Rule #10 A loss is inevitable. And true champions learn to overcome it. 

How is one supposed to survive without a father? How is one supposed to carry on when you lose the most important person in your life. Death is inevitable. As in it can't be avoid it no matter how hard you try running away from it. As in it can't be stopped.

My father was the light of my world, and now that he's gone, each night is starless. 

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Welcome to my blog!

I love reading. I love reading with an absolute passion. I often have wanted to blog about the nonsense of my every day life. The trials and tribulations and the ups and downs that surround my life would hardly gather an audience. I've given much thought to blogging, however, I never seem to have a solid idea for an interesting topic. So now things have been simplified to me. I  will blog about literature, CHILDREN'S LITERATURE!!! Fun, right? I'm excited. Hope you enjoy!!!